Category: difficult lessons
Hope Rises From Broken Dreams
I remember clinging to the dream I had of having an “intact” family. Even after dealing with broken doors, violence, infidelity, verbal abuse, lies, and financial insecurity, I clung to the dream of what I wanted our marriage to be.
I thought if I prayed enough, was understanding enough, was patient enough, then he would see my value and change. I was so focused on changing his behavior, that I was not valuing myself. I was tolerating unacceptable behavior in the hopes that he would see the error of his ways. I was not serving him, or myself.
First, by continuing to tolerate the behavior I was essentially telling him (through my actions) that it was ok to treat me that way. Secondly, he knew the way he was behaving was unacceptable, and was carrying around shame and self-hatred. My accepting it was, in a way, perpetuating his own sense of guilt, shame, and self-hatred. In other words, my thought that I was giving him “second chances” was not serving myself, nor him.
It took a lot for me to be willing to surrender that relationship. I knew I deserved better, but I wanted THAT relationship. I remember the day I knew it was over for good. I remember the freedom I felt. I remember feeling like I was able to breathe again. It required me being willing to release that old dream, knowing that I was stepping into a new dream. I had hope for something better. I believed I could create the life I longed for… and what is more important, the feeling I wished to embody in every moment.
Then the real work began. The work of discovering who I was. The work of developing my own strength, and growing up in a multitude of ways. I began to see that my emotions were about me. I began to see that I was carrying around fears and behaviors even before our relationship that made me susceptible to such an unhealthy relationship.
I read books, took courses, retreats, shared with other women, and began thinking and acting differently. I began gathering my tools and using them. Slowly, I built a home within myself that was grounded in self-love, acceptance, joy, and adventure.
Today, I am still growing. I will be forever. Today, I guide other women into freedom, strength, and empowerment. If you are tired of sitting in a feeling of brokenness, and are willing to harness that phoenix fire to rise into your dreams for a better future, then private message me, and we can set up a time to talk. You deserve all that you hope for, and more. Sacred Wild Blessings, Suzy Hawkfire (Suzette Winona Summers)
Why have we accepted unacceptable behavior?
I’ll give you a hint: it has to do with boundaries and knowing who we are. 
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🙏🏽 How do we shift this? Listen and find out.
Going Forward
This is a poem I wrote that was published in the 2016 in the We’Moon Date Book.
So often, after having survived toxic relationships there is a gnawing fantasy of going into the past and choosing differently.
We wish we left sooner, or we wish we chose a different partner, or we wish we had said or done something differently.
While we were in the relationship, we became an emotional contortionist attempting to keep everyone happy. The only thing our maneuvering did was to give us a false sense of control, suck every last drop of energy from us, and perhaps prove to ourselves that we gave the relationship our best try.
Then, finally, we let go. At least physically. Unfortunately, parts of our emotional or mental body hang on to the past.
There is no stepping into the past–It is a waste of time and energy to fixate there. We can only move forward.
If you are finally ready to sever the cords that bind you to the past, and want to seriously change your life, then private message me to schedule a discovery call. You are worthy.✨ 🙏🏽✨
