We look back and see years of our life devoted to trying to heal another person, or our relationship with them. We’ve become selfless, diligent, forgiving, kind, angry. We’ve tried every angle to make it work. We were so consumed, time seemed irrelevant. When we finally wake up and realize we are dying inside, and it is time to let go, we feel heartbroken. Heartbroken, yes, because we could not heal the person or relationship, but heartbroken also because we feel like we wasted a large portion of our life.
I want to challenge this notion that your life and experiences in that relationship were a waste of your time. Yes, you may not have arrived yet to where you ultimately want to be, and this may have been a detour, but it is only a waste of time if you do not glean the rich core of the situation… the lessons you learned about yourself.
If we are honest, we probably see that this relationship was not the first that was unhealthy. If we are honest we can see that we abandon ourselves in relationships with many people. Even those we don’t know. I encourage you to find the gems… find the lessons…
Yes, the person you were with may have been abusive, addicted, angry, a narcissist, etc., but what drew you to them? What part of you felt comfortable or attracted to the relationship? Every situation offers opportunities to grow, and simply moving on without learning your piece is like being given a bag of gold and leaving it behind.
First, you have to become radically honest with yourself. Then it is time to excavate the landscape within. What parts of the relationship were comfortable? Where did you go along with things you didn’t agree with? Why did you go along with these things? Delve deeply, because that’s where the gifts are.
I can honestly say I am grateful for the relationship I had because I chose to learn so much about myself. I learned to take responsibility for myself, I began to live life with intention, I forged a strong relationship to my creator, and I gained enough self-confidence from the previous work, that I am now able to continue to expand and grow everyday.
Without choosing to get honest and explore my own intentions, motivations, and fears, I would be in another unhealthy relationship. Today, I am forging a strong, empowered relationship with myself, and I look forward to being a witness to your rediscovery and reclamation of your power, bravery, and self-acceptance… I look forward to guiding you into rediscovering your sacred wild self!!! Let’s RISE sisters!!!!